Just wondering….

The Pat Moore, patent-pending, I-will-sue-your-ass-if-you-use-it, guaranteed-not-to-fail-or-your-money-back!

If you follow these steps you will learn how to drive a stick shift in about 45 minutes. Driving a stick shift will let you:

1. get more mpg (manuals have higher EPA ratings than automatics)
2. reduce your car repair expenses. (Automatic transmissions have more moving parts and are more complex.)
3. reduce your car maintenance expenses. (You can coast up to stoplights rather than having your food on the accelerator until the moment you are slamming on the break.)

I learned to drive in Michigan and when to college in a town that had snow, ice, more snow , more ice and hills that is some cases were as bad as San Francisco’s (only with ice).

I have taught a bunch of people (~8) how to drive a stick shift this way and have had 0 failures and everyone of them could drive a stick after 45 minutes (assuming you already know how to drive).

So here is how to do it:
Get a manual transmission car to a parking lot. This parking lot will have 4 features:

1. empty
2. speed bumps
3. fairly long straight section
4. flat

Generally a office building’s parking lot on weekends works best. Not-so-good: a mall’s parking lot during Christmas.

Lesson #1:

1. Get the car so that you have the maximum empty straightaway ahead of you.
2. Do NOT touch the gas.
3. Press in clutch (and keep it in)
4. Put car in first gear.
5. Turn on car
6. Do NOT touch the gas pedal (at all)
7. Slowly ease the clutch out (very slowly)
8. At some point you will feel the clutch start to engage and the car will start to inch forward.
9. Do NOT touch the gas pedal (at all)
10. Continue to slowly ease the clutch pedal out.
11. LISTEN to the car engine. Watch the tachometer if the car has one.
12. Don’t freak if the car stalls. Just remember what the tachometer reading was when it stalled and restart it.
13. If the car starts to stall, push the clutch in – do NOT touch the gas
14. Continue to slowly ease the gas pedal out letting the car pick up speed.
15. At some point, hopefully before you run out of parking lot, the clutch will be completely out and the car will be doing about ~7 mph.
16. Without stopping, press in clutch (and keep it in)
17. Put car in second gear.
18. Do NOT touch the gas pedal (at all)
19. Slowly ease the clutch out (very slowly) until once again you are not pressing in the clutch at all.
20. Pay attention to the sound of the car engine and the tachometer reading. Try to get as close to the stall point without stalling
21. Repeat for 3rd, 4th gears (if possible before crashing into bushes)
22. Do NOT touch the gas pedal (at all)
23. Turn car around.

Lesson #2:

1. Repeat Lession #1 – each time trying to ease the clutch out faster and faster
2. Do NOT touch the gas pedal (at all)
3. Pay attention to the sound of the car engine and the tachometer reading. Try to get as close to the stall point without stalling

Lesson #3: Hills

1. Drive car to first speed bump.
2. Press in clutch (and keep it in)
3. Put car in first gear.
4. Do NOT touch the gas pedal (at all)
5. Slowly ease the clutch out (very slowly) until the car begins to creep over the speed bump.
6. Stop releasing clutch. Let the car’s engine be engaged just enough so that you don’t roll backward but not enough to actually go forward.
7. Play with clutch to rock back and forth with the front tires slowly climbing/descending the speed bump.
8. Repeat until you don’t roll off the speed bump either direction.

This is how you handle hills on a stick shift. Only with a real hill you will need to use a little bit of the gas pedal as well. But you will not use the brake. (For the most part).

Lesson #4: Jump Starting and confidence building

1. Repeat Lesson #1 – quickly getting the car going.
2. Press in clutch (and keep it in)
3. Put car in first gear.
4. Turn off car (while it is rolling about ~17 mph)
5. Press in clutch (and keep it in)
6. Put car in first gear.
7. Turn car to on position (but not to start the car)
8. Release the clutch as fast as you can by letting your foot slid off the pedal. (“popping the clutch”)
9. The car will jerk around and if you are going fast enough it will start up on its own….. and the car will be just fine.

Lesson #5: Go practice on the streets.

In summary:

1. Don’t press the gas pedal. People who don’t know how to drive stick shifts leap on the gas pedal like it is the last raft off the Titanic.
2. If the car is going to stall, press the clutch not the gas pedal. Pressing the gas pedal could send you leaping into traffic. Pressing the clutch is much safer.
3. Don’t freak if you stall – it ain’t a big deal. And flip off the asshole behind you with the horn.
4. Really feel your car and it’s stall point.
5. Relax.

That’s it .. and be sure to send your check. o.k.?

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 6th, 2008 at 3:54 am and is filed under entertainment, how to, transportation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.